The truth about Cheating, Cheaters, and Confrontation

The truth that nobody wants to hear – ever.

Lately, it seems that every day I hear more and more about cheaters. Every day more of my friends seem to say those two very dreaded words – he cheated – meanwhile crying countless tears into their wine while surrounded by their friends. What’s going on? Is the world being taken over by people who just refuse to fully commit? Are we all just doomed to end up sad, alone, or heartbroken?

Okay. Breathe. Realistically, the number of cheaters out there is probably not actually increasing (even though it may seem like it at times). Or hell, maybe it is – somebody should really do a study on this and find out for sure (for real). Regardless, there are a few things that every woman needs to understand about cheating.

First of all, if it happens to you, remember that it is not your fault. I mean it. Nobody is forced into infidelity. The next step is often confrontation. Confronting a cheater might be one of the hardest parts of the healing process – there’s no telling what kind of a reaction the person will have upon confrontation. They may deny everything. They may get angry. They may lie. It’s not often that people simply admit to cheating right away. If they do confess at all, they may attempt to justify their cheating with (bullshit) excuses. The excuses are often more like a blame – on you – faulting you of not doing something correctly (lack of attention, lack of intimacy, etc.). So, if this happens to you, breathe and think clearly. Before you throw yourself into a pool of guilt and “OMG was it really my fault?” realizations, remind yourself that you are not Superman. You cannot do everything perfectly 100% of the time. Your significant other should understand that. A stable relationship is made up of two individuals who understand that occasional issues and shortcomings are inevitable. Moral of the story? Nobody forces you to cheat. Period.

Now, if you’re on the other side of the window and you are the one who has cheated, the best thing to do is just accept it. Be honest with yourself and your significant other. Everyone makes mistakes and it is up to you to do the right thing. Approach your partner with the whole hearted truth and hope they forgive you. Do NOT ever try to turn the argument into a competition, and never every say that your cheating could “technically” be justified. It is impossible to justify cheating in the first place, so just apologize and save yourself and your partner the trouble. If you were truly that unhappy in the relationship, you should have just ended it – not commit one of the most selfish acts possible.

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