Is the phrase “He’s Just Not That Into You” accurate?

Us girls have all probably heard the phrase “Honey, he’s just not that into you!”. If you haven’t heard the phrase yet, then maybe you’ve been really really lucky… or maybe you just don’t have very honest friends. When a guy keeps blowing you off or refuses to commit to you, odds are, he’s just not that into you (there are exceptions to everything, of course).

There is a certain question that us gals have been asking and pouring over for ages now. We’ve cried over it, yelled over it, fought over it, ate too much ice-cream over it… but have we ever really learned from it? The question at stake – Why is it sometimes SO hard to get a guy to really commit? 

Unfortunately, I haven’t really been able to fully crack that tormenting mystery just yet – but when I do, I’ll make sure to get back to you with a full algorithm and explanation. What I DO know, is that it’s not always easy to see through a person’s bullshit when you really care for him/her. Let’s be honest, we’ve all probably had at least one of those awkward “talks” with our significant other about “labels” and “commitment” and “the future”. Sometimes these “talks” go well, and sometimes they go horribly wrong. Throughout the years, I’ve learned that guys have a few go-to phrases for these “talks”. Here are a few of my favorites:

1. “I was hurt in my last relationship.”

Yes, I understand. We’ve all dated assholes and I’m sorry that you were hurt. But unless you start putting yourself out there and really trusting people again, you’ll never move on and find someone that will treat you right. 

2. “I just recently got out of a long relationship.”

This excuse is difficult because it can be very situational. If the guy was in a 5 year relationship, odds are, he can probably commit. Give him some time, set a soft deadline, and wait a bit. If he doesn’t come around soon, re-asses the relationship and let him be in his own relationship of single-ness.

3. “Everything is so good with us – I’m afraid to mess things up by moving forward.”

This is NOT a good excuse. If everything is “so good”, then why not take the next step? You’re going to mess things up if you choose NOT to take the next step. Haven’t you ever heard the phrase “keep moving forward”? 

4. “I don’t want things to move to the next level… After all, I don’t even deserve you.”

If you really feel that you don’t deserve me, then you wouldn’t be taking up any of my time – at all. You obviously think I don’t deserve YOU, because you’re completely fine with taking up my time whenever you want without making me feel worth it. 

5. “The timing is just not right.”

This is a classic and it’s my favorite because it’s complete crap. “The timing is just not right”. What does that even mean? There is always time for good things in life! Promotions, gifts, celebrations, holidays – is there ever a bad time for those? Obviously I’m not considered a “good” thing to you. 

 

Ladies, all of these excuses are obviously situational, but just remember, a guy who really cares about you won’t need any excuses. He won’t need a timeline or a reason to make you his priority. This is why we all need our best girlfriends to occasionally smack us back to reality and remind us that sometimes – he’s just not that into you.

 

Love,

Vei

 

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